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Can you listen to yourself closely?

Have you ever noticed how, at times, you feel distant from yourself? Perhaps you struggle to be gentle, loving, or curious about what’s happening inside you. Instead, you might find yourself simply wanting discomfort or pain to stop—just wanting to “get over it” and feel better.

 

This disconnection from ourselves—our inner experiences and emotions—often stems from coping mechanisms we developed in childhood. These patterns cause us to disconnect from ourselves rather than connect, but this isn’t our fault. As children, we needed constant, unconditional loving acceptance, and connection from our parents and caregivers to build a stable, healthy, and safe relationship with ourselves. When a child receive reassurance from their caregivers, they maintain a connection to their inner body and emotions, even during challenging, harmful, or threatening experiences—or in moments of overwhelming joy, success, or intense uplifting emotions.



When I began reconnecting with my thoughts and feelings—my mind and body—through somatic inquiry after years of living on autopilot (“wake up, drink coffee, go to work, feel nothing, go home, take a pill, sleep, repeat”), I encountered a painful realization: I didn’t want to connect with myself. I wanted to escape myself.

 

 

My life had been driven by deep self-hatred and relentless negative self-talk:

“You’re a failure. This world doesn’t need someone like you—a broken, traumatized woman with too many mental health issues. Look at others—they’re coping, they’re successful. But you? You’ll never be good enough.”

 

Do you hear a similar voice in your head sometimes? Have you noticed how this inner dialogue often traces back to your childhood? Many of us react to our emotions in adulthood the same way our caregivers did when we were young.

 

For instance:

 

• If you felt angry because someone mistreated you, but your parents told you, “Just get over it,” you might now suppress your anger as an adult.

 

• If you danced joyfully as a child and someone said, “Why are you embarrassing us with your silliness?” you might feel ashamed of your happiness and hide your smile as an adult.

 

• If you cried out of hurt, and your caregivers said, “Be strong. Don’t let them see you cry,” you might now find it impossible to cry, swallowing the lump in your throat instead.

 


Through somatic inquiry, I’ve learned to gently uncover these unconscious parts of myself, to sit with them very close and listen. I’ve discovered where they feel unmet, why they’re disconnected, and why they struggle to express certain emotions.

 

 

By reconnecting with these parts, I’ve experienced a profound release of unconscious patterns, repressed emotions, and the weight of old programming, and I began to feel more self-love, inner connectedness, and safety. This safety arose from a profound inner realization: no matter what I experience internally in response to the external world, I no longer leave myself alone and abandon my feelings.

 

Warmly,

Serena







"What you find inside transforms everything outside!" 🌀

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