1.  WHAT IS TRAUMA?
 

When you stop feeling what you’re feeling because, in that moment, it doesn’t feel safe to do so. And I’m sure you can relate to this: after difficult situations, we often say, “I just want to forget it, get over it, and move on. I just want to feel okay.” That moment of shutting down, freezing, when you stop feeling what you're feeling is also called emotional repression—and we all have it to some degree.

4.  HOW CAN YOU SEE IT? WHAT ARE THE SIGNS?

We adapt, normalize, and cope with the symptoms—anxiety, depression, discomfort, frustration, physical and mental illness, compulsive behaviors, addictions, disconnection, unhappiness, and repeated struggles in relationships. Since childhood, we are wired to cope with it all rather than resolve the root cause.

2.  HOW DO I KNOW WE ALL HAVE IT?

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Because we’ve all been in the same situation. As children, we all had to hold back certain emotions and expressions—especially in our relationships with parents and closest ones. We learned to ‘behave’ in certain ways—ways that felt safe for us, and still acceptable to them, so they would continue to love and protect us.

5.  WHERE DOES IT COME FROM? WHERE IS THE ROOT OF IT?

As is now supported and confirmed by science, at its core, this suffering stems from emotional self-repression—the fear of fully feeling our emotions and expressing ourselves through them. Deep down, we are still afraid of what might happen if we feel, say, or do what is truly authentic to us, from a place of inner attunement.

3. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH THIS LEARNED BEHAVIOR?

The behavioral pattern we adopted to feel safe and loved as children now stand in the way of our well-being as adults. They limit our ability to feel at home in our bodies, succeed in life, and build happy, connected relationships. Over time, these behaviors have shaped us so much that we no longer realize we aren’t fully ourselves.

6. IS IT POSSIBLE TO REVERSE THIS SUFFERING?

Yes. We are afraid to speak, act, and experience from integrity—in other words, through our feelings—but this can be reversed and unlearned. The emotional freedom that existed before we learned to “behave” aka push down our emotions, is still within us. You can rediscover love and safety in your body, emotions, and relationships by reversing that old behaviour and mechanism. (You can read more about the stages of this process here.)