Stuck Waiting? It’s Time to Meet Yourself.

If your mother saw you as “bad” because, in her eyes, you were the source of the problem—because you triggered and reflected her past trauma and pain—there is nothing in the world that can change that.

It’s one in a billion that a mother is truly able to love her child if there was such a deep breaking point after giving birth. She cannot love the part of herself she rejects, so she cannot love her child. The shadow projection is too strong; she cannot reverse that separation because she simply has no access to that part of her being.

One in a billion… so if you’re still waiting for something to change, you could be waiting endlessly. Unless a miracle happens or she begins to dig massively deep within herself (which usually doesn’t happen) and process the trauma, you’re better off letting go of the hope.

Because of the disconnection you experienced with her, you can’t fully wake up to the totality of your existence. More precisely, a young part of you is still in a waiting position — and it doesn’t matter whether you actively want her love (internally) or try to avoid wanting her love to not get hurt again — that part is standing in the way of waking up completely to the love you inherently are.

How to explain that?...

There is a difference between wanting to love someone out of good will, or trying to tune in and feel into their energy because you want to care for them, versus moving naturally from your essence — from love, connection, oneness. One comes from intention shaped by an unconscious barrier; the other flows effortlessly because there is no barrier at all.

You don’t have to believe me. Just say to yourself:

"I don’t need her to love me. I don’t need her love. I’m okay without it. I can let go of her love. I don’t have to wait for her to love me. I can love myself fully. It’s safe to love myself fully and not need her or anyone’s love."

Or, for some people, "It’s okay to need her love or I’m not afraid to receive her love" works better.

You can find your own reverse statement and see if there is a disagreement in your body.

What does that reaction say about you?

So, again, it’s much easier to let go of the hope that one day you’ll be loved, and instead dig deep within yourself and meet that unmet part on your own: to unearth the trauma and the primal threat of being alone and unloved without your mother’s presence. As that energy begins to transmute, you’ll feel the natural sense of love rising from the core of your being and existence.

Or, if you remain stuck in waiting, you may find yourself in relationships with similar partners, where you both try to resolve conflict through logic, practicality, finances, or space — with a partner who doesn’t get your sense of humor or fun, with whom you can’t be fully playful, can’t get vulnerable during sex, and can’t cry or show all parts of yourself without fearing abandonment or rejection. And so on... (You know your pattern, right?)

So, you have to meet the pain, the fearful rage in your body, and grieve your mother in order to let go of the illusion of seeking and waiting forever. That’s how you stop waiting, and move forward with integrity.

You always deserved better anyway — full recognition of who you are: an emotionally alive and interconnected being.

You are not the seeking, the seeker, or the waiting. You are the love you’ve been looking for.

If you feel curious about how to resolve that somatic block around self-love, you’re welcome to book a free discovery call with me.

If you have any questions or would like to share what came up for you, just click reply.