When Presence Becomes a Felt Sense

What does somatic processing feel like for me (after complex trauma and narcissistic abuse)?

As a child, there was no other way to move forward and live my life but to repress all those emotions that froze into my body during painful experiences. But what does it actually feel like to process that frozenness and let emotions flow again?

For decades, I lived in a loop of fear and nervousness. My body was constantly busy, moving from one task to the next, stuck in survival mode. Rest wasn’t something I chose; it was something my system couldn’t allow. Even moments of pause brought guilt or the subtle panic of, “Am I wasting time? Will I fall behind?”

But as I process the frozen emotions from childhood, something new is happening:

My body naturally shifts from fear into presence. Without forcing or intending it, my system tells me, “Stop. Be here. Rest now.” And now it feels safe to listen and just let my body regulate and drop me into the felt sense of the present moment.

And there is no guilt about pausing—or if it comes, it fades away quickly. There’s no inner voice calculating how much productivity I’m losing with a 30-minute break. (Yes, you read that right—that was me.) :)

I just breathe. I enjoy. I exist. I guess it’s its inbuilt natural function to regulate—but with a background of trauma, it becomes a dysfunction.

Life becomes more alive in the small things—whether I’m in the city or in nature, alone or with someone, I find myself noticing the small details. The sound of birds, cars, the way a leaf moves in the breeze. It’s like the world slows down, and every little part of it is alive in its own flow, creating a fuller experience.

In relationships, this shift is just as profound.

I no longer make things okay that aren’t okay. I express what I need to feel safe, and I’m open to hearing the same from others. I set boundaries when there’s manipulation or rudeness, and I no longer abandon myself to keep the peace. No more flattening.

That changes the quality of my relationships and helps to shift things in them. It also draws in people with whom I can actually be fully myself—and helps me walk away from connections where that isn’t possible.

It also creates a huge sense of safety, self-trust, and self-love within me.

Somehow, childhood unmet needs that I used to project onto others dissolve.

It’s as if stuck needs dissolve, and I am able to meet myself and others naturally.

As my fear-based survival state softens, I find I have more space to listen. Not to rush to the end of a conversation, but to really hear someone. Even when their experience is completely different from mine, curiosity comes more naturally. “What more can I ask to understand them better?” Even when they say something that contradicts my experience, or something I have zero experience with.

Old patterns are dissolving, too—like the belief that one day I’ll finally “arrive” when I reach some external goal, or that the right partner will fill my inner gaps and make life easier. These ideas now seem distant and unreal. I still have desires, but they come from a grounded place of trust and passion, not from fear or lack.

I understand where I come from and where I am now. And it’s so clear to me that I can trust the process and don’t have to force anything.

Can you rest in the present moment? Does it feel safe? Does it feel okay at all? What happens the moment you start to rest? I’m curious—what does your body say?

Let me know what you find. And if you’re curious about how to explore this with presence and somatic inquiry, I’m here.

Feel free to book a free meet-and-greet call or click here to explore more.

---