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I need this fear to feel safe

As children, in those tender moments of separation—like when our parents expressed anger, inflicted hurt, turned away, or simply overlooked us—all that wrapped around us was the tight grip of fear. ALL THAT WE HAD WAS THIS FEAR. We found ourselves literally frozen, suspended in the haunting stillness of disconnection and aloneness. In other words, we were shut down, numb, frozen, and empty, unable to say or do anything.


A young child cannot navigate the maze of emotions, so they truly yearn for a CONNECTION. They need someone understanding, someone who can explain what's happening inside them and can gently unravel the complex tapestry of feelings within them, reassuring them that it’s absolutely okay. This person becomes the bridge, guiding the child to experience and express whatever emotion is bubbling inside, whatever words are waiting to be spoken through that emotion. It's in these heartfelt connections that the child discovers the profound solace needed to embrace their emotions, preventing the heavy burden of REPRESSION from settling in.


Growing up with partly unconscious parents, many of us missed that deep connection. It left us, unintentionally, wrestling with our emotions, leading to the subconscious construction of an identity intertwined with the fear of separation. In the quiet corners of our minds, unspoken thoughts whispered, 'I have to hold onto this fear to stay connected with them' and '...to feel safe.'


Once again, the heart of the matter is SAFETY – in those moments of disconnection, fear was all we had. By feeling that fear, an unconscious belief quietly took root: 'I NEED THIS FEAR TO FEEL SAFE.’ Because it was all we had/felt at the moment. I understand it might sound strange, but our body-mind doesn't always follow logical thinking.


As we tenderly explore this frozen fear through repeated self-inquiry, something beautiful unfolds – it starts to unfurl, to melt, to find its voice and release its TEARS, expressing whatever has long been held inside. And in this gentle unraveling, the other stuck emotions, too long silenced by this frozen fear, gradually begin to emerge, revealing themselves to us.


We can't just delve into the fear and get rid of it, as it's something sensitive; we've developed and carried this conditioning for a long time. It's more about learning to connect with ourselves, embracing every sensation in our bodies through this PRESENT AWARENESS. This involves acquiring the skilful ability for somatic processing. It's a form of learning we may not have fully received from our parents back then, but now, we can give it to ourselves. This, at its core, is an expression of SELF-LOVE—an act that liberates the mind and awakens the spirit within our bodies.


Pure awareness. Pure presence. Pure love. Pure inner connectedness. Pure understanding that helps to come out of the identification with the unconscious.


A true act of self-love.


Can you love the "little kid" within you that much, the one who feels stuck?


Much love,

Serena



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