And by that, I mean literally no one—not even the most experienced teacher, therapist, or mentor—knows exactly what you need when you’re processing deep wounds and repressed emotions in your body. Yes, they might be intuitive and sensitive enough to guide you toward discovering what you need from yourself, but only you can truly find it. Yet, we often give away this authority, believing others hold answers we don’t. The truth is, your body, your emotions, and your inner awareness are the real guides—you just have to trust them.
What do you need when you’re facing pain and tension during the process? Maybe you already know, or maybe you discover something new every time? There is a spontaneity in uncovering your needs, a moment-to-moment awareness that cannot be forced or predicted.
Why am I talking about this? Recently, I faced this conditioning and self-doubt head-on while processing trauma through repressed joy, femininity, and sexuality—buried under layers of anger and avoided pain. When these wounds surfaced, so did a deep withdrawal—a silence and disconnection that I couldn’t stop. It comes with old wounds, as the system tries to protect itself from feeling everything buried down there. But, as always, I knew I had to drop into that deep silence—bringing my awareness to the bottom of it—before I could rage out and cry (a.k.a. reversing repression).
When these old wounds came up, so did an old pattern: a fixation on productivity. Instead of allowing space for what needed to be met, my mind pushed back—demanding I keep up, perform, and move past it quickly. I have to record that podcast, that video, I must follow the weekly social media post schedule—don't forget this, that, this, that, this, that…!! And what a coincidence—it’s in those moments that people start showing up with energy that doesn’t support my process. “Don’t go there. There’s no value in the pain and silence. Come toward the new, don’t go back, don’t look back, don’t be weak.”
You know what I said when I caught that tendency in me again? "Fuck that shit. This is bullshit." And I asked myself, “What’s most important for me right now?” The answer was obvious—to keep meeting what’s buried without judging the pathway to the root. To trust my body’s intelligence to guide me to the bottom. Immediately, my process became clear, and I said:
Fuck social media posts. Fuck the podcast. Fuck the workload. Fuck the schedule! Fuck the deadline! FUCK MY LIFE!!! NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MEETING AND TRUSTING MYSELF!! :)
So, I made a choice—nothing matters more than meeting myself fully and it’s okay to slow down with the process. All these other things can wait. And as I turned toward myself and the process fully—without judgment and pressure—the process became smoother, and I felt more shift naturally.
I felt lighter within my being, in my belly—the joy of connection arose from the inside out through authentic processing, rather than the other way around—trying to get rid of myself and change my experience through self-inquiry.
And if you find yourself in that familiar struggle of wanting to be one step ahead of where you are, I invite you to pause and ask yourself:
What’s most important for me right now?
What is it in me that judges what’s coming up?
What is that particular feeling or state that I believe must be changed or reversed before I can fully and truly turn toward it?
What is it in me that judges? Is there a sense of identity, a thought, or a sensation that says this? What is it saying exactly?
Is there a belief that says trauma or a particular sensation stands in the way of being or accepting myself?
How can anything stand in the way if my true intention is to completely meet it?
HOW COULD THAT BE POSSIBLE??
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Wanting to be one step ahead of where you are is one of the ways we self-sabotage to avoid change. If you’d like to explore how to trust yourself and your body when old wounds and discomfort arise, the first step is to book a free meet-and-greet call, so we can get to know each other.
Warmly,
Serena
What you find inside transforms everything outside! 🌀 ___ Subscribe here to receive my weekly journals and monthly newsletters.
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