How would your life be without all that sh*t?

Serena Senteshi
May 1
2 min read

Sometimes I wonder: What if I hadn’t gone through all that childhood trauma?

It may sound silly, but this reflection always helps me. Here’s why.

Just imagine for a moment that your childhood—and your relationships with your parents and those closest to you—had been exactly as you needed them to be: comforting, loving, safe, and supportive.

What did you long for most?

What did you wish had been different?

What did you need from your parents that they couldn’t give?

Picture a screen in front of you. Let a difficult moment from your past appear on it—and now change it. Don’t hold back. Don't try to explain it logically. Just imagine your parents responding exactly the way you needed. Go ahead—shift their behavior in your mind. Let them give you what you longed for:

How would your mum or dad react in that version?

Would they be loving and present?

Would they look into your eyes and emotionally reassure you?

Would they hold you tight when you were upset or confused?

Would they ask about your feelings and explain what was happening to comfort you?

Would they help you find words when you couldn’t explain?

Would their presence make your body feel safe?

Let yourself receive that. Feel into that moment.

What emotion shows up when you’re finally met with love and protection?

How does your body feel?

Take your time...

Now name it:

What did you need in order to feel safe enough to fully express that emotion—whether it was anger, sadness, fear, or something else?

“I needed [love, connection, presence…] to feel and express this [anger, sadness, fear…].”

And now—let’s gently come back to the real version of the past. Look at the original situation, just as it was, and try saying:

“I can express what I needed from them in order to feel and express that emotion freely.”

(For example: “I can tell Mum I need connection and love in order to feel and express my anger/hurt.”)

Notice your body’s reaction. Is there any tension and resistance? Is it saying no?

If it could speak, what would it say?

What’s it afraid might happen if you expressed that?

Are any memories popping up?

Do they feel familiar—like the way you react or behave in your current relationships?

That tension, that “no” response you’re feeling—that’s repression. It’s the wall between you and your emotions, your body, your relationships, and the life you long to experience.

Don’t try to get rid of it.

You can’t force it away.

But you can love it.