I want to talk about something with You today. I noticed that there’s an undeniable and strange pull toward the familiar, even when it no longer serves us and brings discomfort, pain, or suffering. I’ve experienced this myself when facing financial progress and ending romantic relationships—two areas where stepping into the unknown felt particularly daunting. Even when I knew change was necessary and possible, part of me clung to the comfort of the known. I’d always say, “I want to be rich, successful, and have a truly loving and caring partner,” but in reality, on a deeper, more somatic and human level, I unconsciously resisted it out of fear because it felt unsafe. Of course, I didn’t realize that at the time; I just found myself angry, frustrated and disappointed with my life and my relationship with my partner.
This is the essence of self-sabotage. We don’t resist growth because we don’t desire it, but because it threatens the safety of what’s familiar. Whether it’s a relationship, a financial situation, or a long-held habit, our nervous system often perceives change as a threat, even if the familiar is limiting or painful.
We remain in the known because leaving would require stepping away from an identity we’ve unconsciously embraced—being unlovable, unwanted, wrong, unworthy. Underneath it all, we stay because we can’t fully access the emotions tied to that identity. Anger, hurt, fear, sadness, and other emotions that were repressed as children (mostly for the sake of our parents) remain hidden, keeping us trapped in a state of deficiency, frustration, and unfulfillment. Until we allow ourselves to feel and process these emotions, we remain stuck and unable to move forward, grow, or change in that particular area.
Grab a pen and paper now...
What is it in your life or relationships that you want to change, but feel like it’s just out of reach? As if no matter what you try—whether giving up or trying to control everything—you can’t make it happen? Sit with that question, write about it, or speak it aloud. This is a moment for deep honesty and connection with yourself.
Then, take a moment to notice how your body responds when you think about changing what you’ve written down. Picture a version of yourself that already has that trait, that relationship, that financial abundance, that good health, or who has left a toxic situation. Now, try using a reverse statement, such as “Nothing stands in the way of me achieving this or becoming this.” “I can and want to be ...……”
Is there any pushback? Any tension, hesitation, or a pull to return to the familiar? Rather than pushing forward, sit with what comes up. Be present. You’re doing it for yourself. Acknowledge the fear, the resistance, the part of you that wants to hold on. Ask that sensation, “What does this mean about me? What do I get out of resisting change?” Find and explore your own questions, and notice how that sensation communicates with you through thoughts, as images, and words that emerge. Write them down.
Also, if you imagine your parents sitting there with the ‘little you’ who feels blocked, what emotions arise in you? Just make conscious that you have emotions about it. But also, pay attention to whether a particular emotion, like anger or sadness, doesn’t come up. If you can’t feel or express certain emotions toward them, take note of that. Which emotions come up easily, and which ones don’t even surface? Write it down.
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True change doesn’t come from forcing ourselves forward—it comes from becoming aware of what’s holding us back and learning to release it. If you’d like to go deeper and work with me to discover emotional freedom by reversing your emotional self-repression with KI, the first step is to book a free meet-and-greet call, so we can get to know each other.
Warmly,
Serena
What you find inside transforms everything outside! 🌀 ____
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