Conversation with the nervous system

• What’s wrong?

  
  

• I don’t know. I don’t know if I should go right or left. It feels like there’s no right direction for me. It feels like every road is a dead end. And no matter what, I never know what to do. I cannot find my place. I feel like I don’t belong here… or anywhere.

  You started calling me PTSD and gave me other names. But I’m not a diagnosis—I’m alive, and I have feelings.”
  

• I’m sorry. I didn’t want to create separation.

  
  

• I don’t know who I am anymore. I just want to come home.

  
  

• But you are home with me. I want to give you a home where you can rest.

  
  

• Yes, but I don’t always feel like you’re accepting me and I get restless then. Abandoned. Hopeless. That’s when I feel you pulling away from me. It’s like an impulse—I want to stay, but I feel like I can’t.
  

• I’m sorry. I’m here now. What would you like to say to me?

  
  

• That I’m scared. That I’m afraid I cannot change. That I’m afraid to love, afraid to open up and connect. I’ve seen too much in the past, and I’ve been carrying it with me ever since. And I just want to tell you everything I’ve seen and carried.

  
  

  And because you can listen, and I can tell those many stories, I feel a deeper sense of calm and relief. Now I feel we’re connected. I feel closer to you. You know, those memories come up from time to time. Sometimes I completely forget them, and then they come back again. I don’t know how long I’ll remember them.

  So please don’t turn away from me. Just listen. Now you know how to listen deeply. By telling you my story, I feel like I can finally let go and forget.

  By speaking, I forget. By speaking, I calm down. I become calmer and calmer. By speaking, I arrive home. So please don’t turn away from me. Just listen. That’s enough for me.

  Because you are the only one who can fully listen and understand me. No one else can really understand me.

  And don’t worry—everything will be fine. I just need some time.

  So please, just let me tell you my stories. Thank you.
  

• I feel like by listening to you, I’m really learning to feel.

  Thank you. I love you.